Escape

 ESCAPE 

 Have you ever felt like you just needed to escape?

What would you need to do, to escape?

Interesting question . .

Listen,

I was so used to feeling numb,

It was so routine, Some shit happens..

How to understand It? that shit a little complicated at 14

I thought I was of age, turns out these girls was just 

so young & naive having babies. Babies having Babies huh..

But I didn't have a baby til 18 though,

Did I ever need to escape.. 

well maybe that's how I got into this situation..

I was young I didn't really have direction,

say what you want.. but kids see everything,

It's seems to me I been analyzing shit since my eyes opened, 

when I really started seeing how life was moving..

I seen shit I never should have, under circumstances,

MY life always been this way,

Forever going through some shit just cause that's how life go.

If I ever could just find a way to escape..

I tried it, Ever got to the top the wrong way, & 

you couldn't make it back down?

ehh, yeah I hit rock bottom

I fell so fast falling, falling & falling,

I was sitting on a cloud,

I just needed everybody to see me for me?

I needed somebody to love me..

I couldn't love myself,

I never saw anything to love,

You ever looked at yourself in the mirror ?

You not them pretty bitches,

the ones who got make-up everyday

w/ that booty they can't fit into them jeans.

I didn't have no curves,

I mean shit this heart though,

GOLD solid Gold,

but it never seems to shines.

I see it shining, but they can't,

they can't see me for me,

I just wanted to

get a little higher..

I just wanna be free..

this Pain , this Pain . .

I don't think you can feel the pain I FEEL..

I can't escape from it..

for this one moment it bleeds into these words..

I know what it's like to leave this world,

Here one second & Gone the next..

For a second you thought I was gone,

I found out who was for me and who wasn't,

Took me sometime and

 I found out what was for me 

and what wasn't,

I learned shit about me that I never knew,

My heart been broke since forever of time,

why did nobody ever notice me?

I been standing here this whole time,

I'm losing self and I'm crashing..

I'm calling and calling and you don't pick up?

My only question was at that moment,

Why me?

and why not me?

As the pain vanished and wind blew,

my soul turned blue,

My air was gone,

I couldn't breathe,

I couldn't feel anymore..

I seen all my loved ones,

But It was never my plan to go,

so I returned and sometimes,

I still want to Escape, 

this pain it never goes away..

but I'm a better Me.. Sincerely me

THE YOUNGEST